Put your golden retriever on a magazine cover.
Upload one photo and your golden retriever becomes this month's cover star of Modern Mutt — deadpan interview, suspiciously specific stats, a feud with the usual suspects, the works. Free to make and share. The clean, frame-ready file is $7.99.
What makes golden retrievers good cover material.
Relentlessly, uncomplicatedly delighted. The difficulty with a golden is that nothing is ever wrong, which is a problem for an interview — so the engine finds the drama in small things: the mailman, a closed door, the tennis ball that went under the couch and stayed there.
Three golden retrievers, three completely different covers.
Nothing below is a template with a golden retriever's name dropped into it — it is what the engine actually wrote for three different golden retrievers, from three different sets of answers.
Bella — a lazy, anxious golden retriever, sworn enemy of the mailman, best known for zoomies:
Photographed Moments Before Doing It Again
- The mailman situation — A threat report filed, loudly, at 11am sharp
- A golden of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
- On high alert — Everything is a threat, and everything has been logged
"I regret nothing and remember everything. The mailman knows what it did."
569 treats negotiated · 54 mailman standoffs survived · 3 dramatic sighs per hour
Rosie — a lazy, derpy golden retriever, sworn enemy of the doorbell, best known for screaming at nothing:
The Golden Everyone's Suddenly Talking About
- The doorbell incident — One chime. Total collapse. An investigation is ongoing.
- Beautifully unbothered — Gets away with everything. Has never once tried.
- A golden of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
"No further questions. Unless there is cheese. The doorbell knows what it did."
767 treats negotiated · 47 doorbell standoffs survived · 8 dramatic sighs per hour
Poppy — a dramatic, anxious golden retriever, sworn enemy of that tail, best known for zoomies:
"I Have Never Been Wrong"
- Feelings, at volume — A range insiders describe as theatrical and untreatable
- A golden of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
- On high alert — Everything is a threat, and everything has been logged
"I'm not dramatic, I simply feel things louder."
429 treats negotiated · 34 tail standoffs survived · 7 dramatic sighs per hour
One photo. Sixty seconds.
A clear, front-on shot of your golden retriever works best.
Traits, a sworn nemesis, a signature move — we write every word from there.
Share it free, or grab the clean 8.5×11 file and frame it.
Free to make. $7.99 to keep.
Watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 320 DPI — prints true-size on letter paper at home.
The fine print, minus the fine print.
What do I get with a golden retriever cover?
Making and sharing the cover is free (it carries a small watermark). The paid download is a clean, watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 320 DPI for $7.99 — it prints true-size on letter paper at home or at any print shop.
How does it work?
Upload one photo of your golden retriever, pick a personality, a sworn nemesis, and a signature move — our deadpan editorial engine writes the whole cover in about 60 seconds. No account needed.
Is my photo kept private?
Yes. Covers live at an unlisted link only you can share, they're never shown publicly or used for advertising, and free covers are automatically deleted after about 30 days.
Can I send it as a gift?
That's the classic move: make the cover free, share the link with family, and anyone — including the grandparents — can grab the print-ready file.
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