Put your maltese on a magazine cover.
Upload one photo and your maltese becomes this month's cover star of Modern Mutt — deadpan interview, suspiciously specific stats, a feud with the usual suspects, the works. Free to make and share. The clean, frame-ready file is $7.99.
A taste of what the engine writes for a maltese — this is Duke's:
Twelve Minutes With Duke, Who Is Busy
- A maltese of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
- Built for sport — Employed exclusively in the pursuit of absolutely nothing
- Betrayed by the tail — A lifelong feud with the back end. Still losing.
"No further questions. Unless there is cheese. That tail knows what it did."
1,693 treats negotiated · 13 tail standoffs survived · 7 dramatic sighs per hour
Recent cover stars from other breeds:
One photo. Sixty seconds.
A clear, front-on shot of your maltese works best.
Traits, a sworn nemesis, a signature move — we write every word from there.
Share it free, or grab the clean 8.5×11 file and frame it.
Free to make. $7.99 to keep.
Watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 320 DPI — prints true-size on letter paper at home.
The fine print, minus the fine print.
What do I get with a maltese cover?
Making and sharing the cover is free (it carries a small watermark). The paid download is a clean, watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 320 DPI for $7.99 — it prints true-size on letter paper at home or at any print shop.
How does it work?
Upload one photo of your maltese, pick a personality, a sworn nemesis, and a signature move — our deadpan editorial engine writes the whole cover in about 60 seconds. No account needed.
Is my photo kept private?
Yes. Covers live at an unlisted link only you can share, they're never shown publicly or used for advertising, and free covers are automatically deleted after about 30 days.
Can I send it as a gift?
That's the classic move: make the cover free, share the link with family, and anyone — including the grandparents — can grab the print-ready file.
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