Put your pomeranian on a magazine cover.
Upload one photo and your pomeranian becomes this month's cover star of Modern Mutt — deadpan interview, suspiciously specific stats, a feud with the usual suspects, the works. Free to make and share. The clean, frame-ready file is $7.99.
What makes pomeranians good cover material.
Descended from Arctic sled dogs, currently descended from the couch. They were once considerably larger; Queen Victoria took a liking to an unusually small one, and within a generation the whole breed had shrunk to keep up with fashion. Poms keep the full confidence of a working spitz in a body the size of a grapefruit, and they will brief you on the mailman regardless. Enormous coat, enormous opinions, very small dog.
Three pomeranians, three completely different covers.
Nothing below is a template with a pomeranian's name dropped into it — it is what the engine actually wrote for three different pomeranians, from three different sets of answers.
Rosie — a dramatic, derpy pomeranian, sworn enemy of the skateboards, best known for zoomies:
Photographed Moments Before Doing It Again
- A pom of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
- Wheels: a manifesto — If it rolls, it is guilty. No exceptions have been made.
- Feelings, at volume — A range insiders describe as theatrical and untreatable
"Everything I have, I got by staring. The skateboards know what they did."
919 treats negotiated · 11 skateboard standoffs survived · 4 dramatic sighs per hour
Duke — a regal, athletic pomeranian, sworn enemy of that tail, best known for screaming at nothing:
On Fame, Snacks, and that Tail
- A pom of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
- Enemy within — Attached, unshakeable, and clearly up to something
- Born to it — The furniture was always, obviously, spoken for
"Fame hasn't changed me. I still eat off the floor."
1,762 treats negotiated · 67 tail standoffs survived · 8 dramatic sighs per hour
Luna — a derpy, anxious pomeranian, sworn enemy of the doorbell, best known for counter-surfing:
The Pom Everyone's Suddenly Talking About
- Reach exceeds grasp — Except it does not, and the butter is gone
- Death to the doorbell — Even on TV. Especially on TV. A source is worried.
- A pom of rare distinction — Setting a standard the others pretend not to notice
"I am not a morning dog. I am not an evening dog. I am a snack dog."
1,451 treats negotiated · 64 doorbell standoffs survived · 6 dramatic sighs per hour
Recent cover stars from other breeds:
One photo. Sixty seconds.
A clear, front-on shot of your pomeranian works best.
Traits, a sworn nemesis, a signature move — we write every word from there.
Share it free, or grab the clean 8.5×11 file and frame it.
Free to make. $7.99 to keep.
Watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 320 DPI — prints true-size on letter paper at home.
The fine print, minus the fine print.
What do I get with a pomeranian cover?
Making and sharing the cover is free (it carries a small watermark). The paid download is a clean, watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 320 DPI for $7.99 — it prints true-size on letter paper at home or at any print shop.
How does it work?
Upload one photo of your pomeranian, pick a personality, a sworn nemesis, and a signature move — our deadpan editorial engine writes the whole cover in about 60 seconds. No account needed.
Is my photo kept private?
Yes. Covers live at an unlisted link only you can share, they're never shown publicly or used for advertising, and free covers are automatically deleted after about 30 days.
Can I send it as a gift?
That's the classic move: make the cover free, share the link with family, and anyone — including the grandparents — can grab the print-ready file.
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